Eclipse / IDE

Eclipse can be so BLONDE sometimes.


Eklipsa. Photo courtesy another blog.

A developer who works on Eclipse started an argument with me today.

No, (s)he wasn’t talking to me in person, but the code this person wrote pissed me off.

So, I’ll just pretend that person is some irritating blonde chick.  You know, the same box-o-rocks that crushed your feelings in high school, who you’d have sex with anyway. The one you’d kick out of the house but then invite right back in.  The one you’d get so pissed at it would make you destroy all the furniture in the house.  And then you’d lie to her about why you did it so you didn’t hurt her feelings and she’d come back to have sex with you:

No, honey, really, I was chasing a rodent.  It was big. He destroyed the couch though.

Yeah, Eclipse developers can be like that chick.  Eclipse makes you insanely mad and then you take it back anyway.

That person wrote the bit of code that causes Eclipse to modify files.  We’ll just call her, Eklipsa.

So, here’s how my conversation with Eklipsa went today.

me: “Eklipsa, you overwrote from that library that I imported.”

Eklipsa: “Yeah. I know!  Isn’t the new one soooooo cute?!?”

me: “Not really, see I needed that file to be un-molested. Why did you modify it? My project won’t build.”

Eklipsa: “Molested? Ewww.  You’re computer’s such a PERV.”

me: “No honey. I mean the code you wrote caused a problem, and I’d like to know what happened to When Eclipse imports it from a library, Eclipse modifies it.”

Eklipsa: “I, like, soooo don’t know what you’re talking about. That’s like how it’s supposed to work … or something.”

me: “Never mind.  Wanna go shopping?”

Eklipsa: “Sure!”

me: “Here’s $100 bucks. Can you go to Abercrombie and find me a sky hook for my socks?”

Eklipsa: “Sure! Like … ?”

me: “Sky hooks are used to hang those cool socks you get at Abercrombie.  Prevents wrinkles. They’re right next to the sweaters.”

Eklipsa: “It’s like, summer, silly.  They won’t have sweaters.”

me: “Look just go away for three hours so I can figure out why you’re screwing up my project.”

Three hours later.

me (calling loudly): “Eklipsa, are you back yet?”

Eklipsa: “Like … yeah.”

me: “find my sky hook?”

Eklipsa (holds up mangled hanger): “The guy at the store said they were out. So I made you one!”

me: “Never mind.  I figured out what happened to my file

Eklipsa: “Oh that’s like so smart.”

me: “If I have a layout in my project that has the same name as a layout in a library project, you destroy the library’s “

Eklipsa: “Well yeaaah silly.  That’s called, like, code refutability or something.”

me: “I think you mean code reusability, and no this is not that.  You completely overwrite the imported with the wrong data. It’s a bug.  You made me waste a whole day figuring out your insanity.”

Eklipsa: “Wanna have sex?”

me: “Whatever. Fine.”


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